For starters, sort out your feelings and desires and decide which is true. I doubt you are gay, at all, if you posted your true feelings. I don’t understand why you think you are gay. You have a girlfriend with whom you can’t connect, but you say this is due to your religion, not your sexual orientation.
That’s certainly possible. What secret? You don’t way if you want to experiment with men. If that is the case, then set aside your religion and discover what/who you are. Then DON’T worry about giving yourself a name. Just make the best of what you find you are, don’t worry about the Bible, be assured, no one can open any Bible and read to you the words of Christ on the subject of homosexuals. Leviticus was done away with at the crucifixion, and all the new testment prohibitions may well have been part inspiration part opinion by cloistered monks who hated the fact they were horny all the time. Robert