When I was younger and fitter I would regularly (s)pray in the mirror because I was so happy to see how my body had developed tone and muscularity. As I was masturbating I would try to identify where the pleasure was emanating from, but I could not distinguish between myself, my hand, my penis or all those things in the mirror. I guess there was a dissociation taking place, but this dissociation developed into a merging, until orgasm where I didn’t know who or what I was. Afterwards I would be sure to linger in the space where I was. I’d deliberately be very kind to myself, gently taking myself to bed, usually, and to restful sleep.
I’ve come to really love mirror bating, really looking at my face, into my own eyes and learning to really accept and love my reactions to the bliss and even gleeful joy I derive from long bating and edging sessions. I don’t “beat off” to get off any more as if in a hurry. Since discovering edging, I can ride the waves of ecstasy and bliss for yours, sometimes finding myself squealing, chanting, and singing with delight like a child. I think allowing myself to go to these spaces has been healing for me in body and spirit. Bob