Real divinity cannot be separated from real physicality. Marco Del Rey explains as I don’t believe there is such a thing as an eternal soul separate from the body then divinity and sexuality and physical intimacy are the same and interchangeable, the real trinity of love.

Just wanted to say that I like your new and ever expanding website. I know you said a year ago that you had lost the old one in the expanse of the universe…….but you have rebuilt it and it looks different, a little less black background but a lot of good stories and information and every link still leads to a new and exciting place, like a sex maze. Its obviously by you but its a different shape. It must have been a lot of hard work. I have a question, well more of a thought… I grow older I find that I don’t want to have full on sex with men and dont….but I do want to be intimate, touching massage, working on each others jade stem…of course, which is what we do with you and thank the gods for you, you have given me a safe and nurturing place to find such amazing male intimacy. You have provided a great and safe gift for all men. when i was younger I cruised areas when I was horny, not a safe option. I have used sex lines but they are expensive and again just about raw sex or pure fantasy and not a safe option nor a wise one. Sometimes I want to touch and intimacy with men more often that once a month in Mr Cox`s palace of dreams and pleasure. I have visited (a place) once and its a real sex place, not very intimate or friendly and lots of unsafe sex happens and older guys like me, are not really that welcome. I stayed 20 minutes and left.

I have stopped watching porn, because your groups have taught me to be more real about sex, so as I am watching porn less my desire for real intimacy is returning and so I have greater need. Plus with no porn, I have started to have really hot dreams, which I have not had for years….amazing. I have put `jerk off/ masturbation groups for men` into search engines, I think they exist in fantasy but not in reality. Maybe San Francisco was the only place they actually happened as a reaction to AIDS…who knows. I also like the `no lips below the hips` idea, even though oral sex is amazing it can be intimidating if expected. Gay Sex groups/leather clubs and the like push away str8/bi/health conscious gay males because of their expectation of full sex or the risk of STIs and the expectation of a young body and a hard cock, and also the big performance thing hides a million anxieties. I don’t want to take viagra, I would rather have a head massage. apart from your wonderful group are there groups  guys who meet to touch and wank and relax in the safety of a private home or is this an urban myth…it might be just you? Perhaps the sauna scene is where such intimacy happens, I don’t really know. These are my thoughts and I don’t expect you to solve them or come up with an answer but I thought I would put the thoughts out there as I cant be the only guy, bi/gay/str8 who would just like some mutual masturbation/ erotic touch without the worry that STIs bring, and that it happens in a safe place. I have been in a men`s group for 6 years and occasionally talked about such things but such real sex talk is rare and not always appropriate or what men want in that therapeutic setting. I know you have talked about having a spirituality group but I think that spritualising sex moves it away from the reality of intimacy. The church fears sex so turns it into some kind of intimate god talk but with your pants firmly on, when in reality men want someone to touch them for real, only then do they see the divine. Real divinity cannot be separated from real physicality. As I don’t believe there is such a thing as an eternal soul separate from the body then divinity and sexuality and physical intimacy are the same and interchangeable, the real trinity of love. I think a group of men talking about their desires and anxieties and real needs and fears is missing. If we talk about it then men may gravitate to meeting that desire and need for intimacy, who knows…..So I have said it and its out there flying around the heavens. so much love power and respect to you mr sex wizard, and mr love men wizard.  

Marco Del Rey

5 thoughts on “No Lips Below the Hips

  1. I love this site which I accidentally discovered a year ago whilst searching for an alternative to porn sites/dating sites/sites about the scene, none of which satisfy the deep desire and longing I have inside for real connection with other men. I visit this site when I need to remind myself that I am not alone, that there are other men out there who feel the dame deep desire for masculine intimacy with the beautiful complexity that is man. I live far north of London where men are, as a rule, very different to the kind of beings that inhabit cosmopolitain spaces like London. The North is a lonely place for sensitive men who wish to experience more than what the scene or the virtual world has to offer. I never thought I would leave a footprint here, I generally shy away from saying anything meaningful in the virtual world which can be so shaming and toxic. But today I was moved by way I read here and I want to believe that it is possible for me and others like me to have what we desire, even in the less evolved spaces of these Islands. I want to believe that this site represents something real, something that can exist for a man like me. It has certainly inspired me to think more about how I could risk exploring something of my own up here in the coldness of the Northern wastelands. Thank you all, my beautiful, brave brothers, for your generosity and your words of love.

  2. Jerkoff clubs actually untreated AIDS by a few years.

    Okay, to explain, for most of the history of USA gay male culture, anal sex was taboo, its practitioners referred to as “brownie queens”. There were demographic differences by race, class, education level, and region, but anal sex was universally stigmatized, something more associated with being transgender than gay. (And of course, this also meant no versatiles.)

    Fast forward to Stonewall. Now gay guys are out, but things have changed. Gay porn is now a thing (It had existed before, naked muscle men, but rarely any sex and never more than masturbation.), and like straight porn, anal penetration is de rigeur. Unlike straight porn, gay porn is often the only source for sexual information if you’re gay. And many more privileged gay men, those in political and business circles, still in the closet, remain so, but now they’re more furtive and have more partners.

    But, being rich and privileged, they’re also entitled. And they really like anal sex, spreading the meme that nothing else is “really” gay. Being entitled men, their entitlement spreads to the sexual realm. But don’t you dare say anything: Saying Chad raped you would be admitting gay rapists exist and that’s doing Jerry Falwell’s job for him! (Yeah, glad I was born in 1983.)

    And that’s where jerkoff clubs came from, getting away from the don’t-call-them-rapists, the entitled Violet Quill types, the “my sex is better than your sex”, the “no blacks, just a preference, I’m not racist”, all that toxic mix. That jerkoff clubs avoided AIDS was a nice side effect.

  3. Hi. I share many of your thoughts and desires – thanks for expressing them. I wish men would be more open and willing to talk about male on male intimacy whether str8 bi or gay. Like you i find mr cox’s gentle gifts fulfilling and sexually nurturing. Pete 😉

    1. I share your point of view but most of men are amazingly uncomfortable to talk about sex even if they do all kinds of sexual games when they can
      This site is a mine of excellent informations..

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